• Chronically Ill Parenting: An ADHD Crash Course for My Kids

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    My girls and I are neurodivergent which means routines, alarms, and mental stimulation are totally vital. If you don’t, everything dissolves into chaos, and the kids transform into feral little street urchins. And for a long time, I absolutely kicked ass at managing it. I used to keep the kids’ minds stimulated. On road trips, I had activities planned for every 30 minutes. Nothing crazy but they got a new mini coloring book, book to read, a small toy, or we played a new game. At home, we cooked together, played games or activities like indoor obstacle courses made out of masking tape, and set up our kiddie pool and sprinklers for them in the backyard. I used alarms and routines to get us everywhere…

  • Brain Fog and Decision Paralysis: When My Brain Won’t Brain

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    Why are decisions so hard sometimes? Story Time After I had my first C-section, the nurse told me to push the button every time the light came on so I did exactly what she told me to do. Light came on I pushed the button. Light came on I pushed the button. When I got to my room, they wanted me to eat something. I was vegetarian at the time and I’m looking at my choices: chicken broth or vegetable broth. By this point, I was so high I couldn’t figure it out. I knew there was only one right answer but which one? They took away my button and chastised me for hitting it too much. Hey! I just followed the directions exactly as…

  • Autistic Masking: The Emotional Off-Switch

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    I was watching Harlots when I had a moment that stopped me cold. Harlots is an absolutely fascinating Hulu series about rival 18th century brothels and the women fighting to survive them. Totally interesting take, you should check it out.  Anywho, there’s a young girl named Lucy. She’s maybe 14, 15. She’s grown up in this life, her mother is a madam of one of the brothels. She sold her virginity maybe a week ago, give or take. Or maybe longer. Honestly it’s hard to tell time within the show. Or maybe that’s just me… *sigh* ADHD time-blindness is so real. She’s with a client and she’s struggling. Afraid to look. Afraid to move. Just frozen in something she clearly doesn’t want to be doing….

  • The Misdiagnosis Pipeline

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    Trigger Warning: This post briefly mentions self-harm and suicide. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar disorder, MDD, GAD, OCPD, and PMDD. Oh, and I’m autistic. Collectively, that alphabet soup of a list isn’t a brag. It’s a warning label about what happens when the medical system doesn’t see the forest through the trees. It’s a cautionary tale of how many wrong turns a person can take when nobody knows how to look at the whole picture. Let’s start at the beginning. The Five-Year-Old Twirler I was five years old when I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type. Couldn’t focus, couldn’t sit still, stood up randomly to twirl at my desk then sat back down like nothing happened. The diagnosis is right but incomplete. I was…